Three or four years back I went out to dinner with my sister and brother-in-law and their daughter. When the checks came, I took ours but instead of my brother-in-law paying, my 28-year-old niece said, “I’ll take the check.” I sat there dumbfounded. She bought THEM dinner. I realized that someday one of my kids would pick up the check. See, for 26 years we’ve ‘picked up the check.’ It started with the hospital bills for 5 C-sections – and quickly moved on to childcare and then Montessori. It morphed into school pictures, and yearbook, and fees for field trips. There were birthday parties and new shoes, winter coats or bathing suits – clothing dependent upon the season. The ante was upped as we progressed to cotillion and summer camps, sports (private lessons, special equipment and a different kind of cleat for every season) and cheerleading (uniforms, hair bows, camps and competitions)…and travelling across the state to weekend tournaments. But we didn’t know what was coming until we got to cars and cell phones and computers and then college. The kids all had jobs along the way, but we paid for every family vacation, every dinner out, every phone bill, and the insurances – until tonight.
Tonight, we sat a Fat Jack’s Restaurant and when the waitress brought the check, my 25-year old, recently graduated and now fully-employed daughter whipped out her credit card and said, “I’ll take the check.” To my surprise, my eyes welled up with tears. I knew the day would come, I just didn’t know when… and when it did arrive, I still wasn’t fully prepared. One more step to her moving on, growing up – one more way she’s become so independent from us. It wasn’t as dramatic as the day she got her license or moved into the dorm, but it was a milestone just the same. I wasn’t ready for it tonight – although I knew it would happen at some point. So for now, I’ll just be grateful…and insist on leaving the tip.